Providence News  March 2010

|   Friends Reunited after 73 Years

SOUTH HOLLAND, ILLINOIS (March, 2010)  | Nancy Eylander and Jeanette Mikolajczyk grew up in tiny Phoenix, Illinois, less than two blocks from each other. They were two years apart, and Jeannette graduated from grade school in 1936, when she was 13 years old. Both girls stayed in the area -- Harvey, Roseland, Lansing -- but once out of school their paths never crossed. Jeannette was busy caring for her four siblings (their mother had died in childbirth, and Jeannette was the oldest girl). Nancy got work as a "mother's helper" at various homes. They both married after the war and didn't keep in touch with each other.

This past fall, 73 years later, the old friends were reunited at Holland Home, a retirement community in South Holland, Illinois, when Jeannette moved in after rehab following a 2008 fall that resulted in a broken hip. Nancy had been living at Holland Home since 2003. "I never would have recognized her," says Nancy. "No, me either," laughs Jeannette.

In fact, it was Nancy's daughter Darlene DeBoer who brought them together. Darlene works in the Life Enrichment Department at Holland Home. During a standard new-resident interview, she learned that Jeannette had grown up in Phoenix and that her maiden name was Schipper. The more they talked, the more certain Darlene became that Jeannette was an old friend of her mother's.

"In fact, this shirt is significant," says Nancy, pointing to the bright pink sweatshirt Jeannette is wearing. She begins to explain, "When my daughter asked me if I remembered Jeannette Schipper, I said, 'Wow, where is that coming from? I haven't heard that name in a long time!' But my daughter said, 'Well, she's here.'

"I said, 'What do you mean, she's here?'

"She said, 'She lives here. Here at Holland Home. She's living here now.' So she had us meet in the coffee shop. I said, 'How will I recognize her? I haven't seen her in more than 50 years.' My daughter said, 'She'll be wearing a hot pink shirt with white bears across the front.' And she was. And I saw her. And then, after we talked for a while, I recognized her; I mean, I could see it was her."

"It was so happy, seeing her again," says Nancy. "I mean, we just couldn't believe it."

"Yeah, it's nice," agrees Jeannette.

The two friends launch into stories from their friendship in the 1930s, when Nancy and her siblings used to walk to Jeannette's house to help with her chores, so that she would have time to play the piano. "She played the piano so beautifully," remembers Nancy, "but she never had time for things like that. Her mom had died, and her dad was real strict, so she always had a lot of work to do. But we would go over there and help, and she would play the piano for us."

Jeannette smiles, and taps Nancy on the arm, "Remember when I had to hide you all in the closet?" The friends laugh and shake their heads at the memory. "My dad used to come home for lunch every day," explains Jeannette. "And usually I knew what time he was coming, but this time he came home early, and Nancy and them didn't have time to leave. I had to hide them all in the closet!"

"She would have been in big trouble if her dad saw us there," says Nancy. "Her dad was real strict."
Both women love Holland Home. Nancy says, "As my sister-in-law used to say, 'It's not perfect, but it's great.'" Before Nancy's husband Andy died, he had told her, "When I'm gone, don't stay in this house by yourself. Go to Holland Home." For a year she resisted. Then, one snowy day, overcome with loneliness, trapped inside by the weather, she spent the afternoon crying. The next day she called Holland Home and asked for some information. She then called a family member who was a realtor and asked for his professional opinion of what price she could get for her house. "He asked me if I had talked it over with my kids, and I said, 'No, what for?' It was my decision. I could tell my kids after I'd decided." And she did.

Jeannette never had any of her own children, but she and her husband Joe served as stand-in parents to dozens of children throughout their lives -- nieces, nephews, siblings, friends -- anyone who needed a place to stay while they were getting back on their feet or finding their way. "It seemed like our house was always full," smiles Jeannette. Her theory is that God didn't giver her any children of her own because He knew He would need her to serve as mother to so many others.

Today their lives are still full, these two women who picked up their friendship right where it left off in 1936. Sittercise, Mental Aerobics, Mindful Movements, visits in the café, lunch in the dining room (Nancy is on the Food Committee), chapel services, Town Hall meetings -- their calendars brim with as much activity as they choose. "There is so much to do here," says Nancy, "but you don't have to do it all. Just do the things you want to do. If I want to be with people, I join an activity. If I want to be by myself, I stay in my apartment. It's great. I have privacy. And friends. And so many wonderful things to do. I love the Holland Home."

"Yeah," agrees Jeannette.

"Oh, it's lunch time," says Nancy to Jeannette. "Do you want to just go down there now and eat together?"

"Sure, we could," says Jeannette. And the two friends head to the elevator. Together.