Tree of Light Memorial

|   Helping families cope with the holidays after a loss

Annual memorial ceremonies are a Hospice tradition, explains Providence's Director of Hospice Maribeth Anderson, though different Hospice chapters carry them out differently. "I prefer to hold ours before Thanksgiving and Christmas," she says, "because those holidays are so difficult for families when there has been a death. Thanksgiving and Christmas are very family-focused and rich with tradition. People who have suffered a loss are very sensitive and often unprepared for all the emotions their holiday traditions can trigger. Our 'Tree of Light' service gives them a chance to honor and memorialize their loved ones, and diffuse some of that emotion before the holidays arrive."

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Consisting of quiet music, prayers, and Scripture readings, the service culminates with a reading of the names of the deceased. As each name is read, a glass ornament, inscribed with the name, is hung on a lighted Christmas tree.

Family members are invited to stay for lunch following the service, and the tree, bedecked with the memorial ornaments, remains in the Providence Hospice headquarters until the end of the year. "It's a visual reminder for us of the clients we've been blessed to serve in a given year," explains Maribeth.



Throughout the year, Hospice clients are memorialized with a quilt square that is added to a quilt that hangs in the Hospice "Comfort Room." Each January the Hospice staff disassembles that year's quilt, removes the glass ornaments from the Christmas tree, and sends them both to the families as mementos of their loved one.

The "Tree of Light" ceremony is attended by Hospice staff and volunteers as well, giving them a chance to re-connect with the families they've served. Families appreciate the sense of closure and the opportunity to express gratitude to the nurses and aides who provided care during the last days of a loved one's life. They also find inspiration to re-shape their existing traditions or create brand new ones. Having experienced the "Tree of Light" service, they may choose to incorporate similar elements in their own family celebrations, drawing together to not only light the Christmas tree or decorate cookies, but also to share memories, pass on stories to younger generations, and laugh and cry together. In doing so, they honor their loved one's memory and find healing for themselves.

For more information about "Tree of Life" — or to volunteer with Providence Hospice, contact Froncell Childred-Kirkling at fkirkling@provlife.com or (708) 331-0400.