“Laughter is the best medicine,” says the old adage, and though science has yet to prove its healing effects, most people agree they feel better when they smile. Whether your pain is physical or emotional, you might find that a good joke or an amusing story distracts you from your troubles, and that the act of laughing releases painkilling endorphins and relaxes your muscles.
With those potential health benefits in mind, we offer the following jokes, witticisms, anecdotes, and bits of comedy to brighten your day. (In fact, maybe you want to print this page and bring it along next time you visit your parents, or someone in the hospital, or someone receiving rehab!) —
5 signs you’re getting old
- Dialing long distance tires you out.
- Your arms are too short to read the newspaper.
- You sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going.
- You look forward to a dull evening.
- Your knees buckle, and your belt won’t.
Seniors and texting
The May 2001 Reader’s Digest included these texting abbreviations specifically for seniors:
- BFF: Best Friend Fainted
- BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
- TTYL: Talk To You Louder
- CBM: Covered By Medicare
- LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
- GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!
Seniors and driving
A police officer pulled over a car full of elderly ladies and began to explain that they were driving too slow on a major highway.
“Why are you driving so slowly?” he asked.
The lady driving responded, “I kept seeing all these signs with the number 20 on them. Isn’t that the speed limit?”
“No, ma’am,” said the police officer. “That is the highway number.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry, Officer. I did not know that,” the elderly driver apologized.
The officer was about to send the carload of seniors on their way when he looked into the back seat and noticed that the ladies there are pale and panic-stricken, with white knuckles from holding on to each other too tightly. He addressed the driver again: “What’s wrong with your friends in the back seat?”
The driver replied, “Oh, we just got off Highway 101 a few miles ago.”
(compliments of Royal Park Place, the Providence retirement community in Zeeland, Michigan)
- It’s frustrating when you know all the answers and nobody bothers to ask you the questions!
- It’s not that I’m against exercise. It’s just that when I look at my body, I feel it’s already been punished enough.
- Did you hear about the doorbell and hummingbird who fell in love? They had a little humdinger!
- Lord, bless the person who is too busy to worry in the daytime, and too sleepy to worry at night.
Laughter and smiles are a normal part of life at Providence Life Services communities. To catch a glimpse of the fun, contact the community nearest you!