"It fits like a glove”: A Daughter’s Story of Love, Memory, and the Right Move at Park Place

When Nancy’s father, Tom Murphy, broke his hip the day after his 95th birthday, the fall didn’t just shift his health; it shifted their family’s future. What followed was an emotional, complicated, and ultimately comforting journey that brought them to Park Place of Elmhurst. Just two blocks from her home, it turned out to be more than a senior living community. It became an extension of their family.

After her father’s hospital stay during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, Tom’s memory declined to the point where he could no longer live on his own. Nancy brought him into her home, and she and her siblings took turns rotating care seven days a week. Each of them stepped in to support their dad with meals, showers, and companionship. The nights were becoming increasingly difficult, but Nancy admits, “I didn’t want him to leave. I told him, ‘You’re not a burden.’ But he said, ‘No, I want my own place.’”

Now at Park Place, they keep the same schedule as they did previously. Nancy visits on Monday and Friday, Sean on Tuesday and Thursday, Marie on Wednesday, and Danny visits on the weekends. Sheila and the grandkids visit as often as possible. 

When deciding between Assisted Living and Memory Care, the family determined that Memory Care was the best option. They didn’t want to have to move him a second time, and they had more eyes on him in the Memory Care apartment. 

While Nancy wasn’t ready to let go, she respected his wish for independence. Once Park Place opened to daily visits, her father moved in. “He never looked back,” Nancy said. “Not once did he ask to go home. It’s just like home, but with the support they all needed. The space is quiet and bright—a calm environment that helps her father feel safe and at ease.”

Nancy, who works just down the road at Jewel, already knew many staff members at Park Place. But over the years, those relationships deepened. She knows the nurses’ kids’ birthdays, their pets’ names, and what’s going on in their lives. “I’m not here to spy on anyone,” she said. “I’m here to visit my dad, and I want to know the people who care for him.”

The community garden has become a sacred space for her family. “It’s a long winter in Chicago,” she said. “When the weather warms up, we’re out there every day. It’s priceless.” Her dad watches children pass by the nearby school, admiring the landscaping and joking about the gate security. It gives him joy, and it gives Nancy peace.

Her father’s life reads like a movie script. Born in Butte, Montana, Tom quit school and joined the Marines at 17. When the war ended, he returned home and worked as a lumberjack in Washington State. After the mill he sent lumber to went on strike, he enlisted in the Army and traveled throughout Europe during his leave. A World War II veteran, Tom later volunteered to serve in Korea, but no troops were being reassigned from Europe at the time.

Tom and his wife met at a party after he returned from the Army, and they were married for 56 years. Originally living on the west side, they moved to the Oak Park area, where his wife worked at Oak Park High School after raising the children. 

Tom worked as a printer and later at the post office, raising five children and building a life rooted in hard work and family values. He loved the open road and took his family on national park adventures, camping trips filled with bears, laughter, and station wagons with no seatbelts. “He always found a way to give us those experiences,” Nancy said. Today, his love for family continues with his two grandchildren, Siena and Finn, who carry on his spirit of curiosity and connection.

Even now, he participates in activities at Park Place. He is baking cookies, enjoying outdoor games, and delighting in visits from therapy dogs. “Lisa, the Life Enrichment Director, is worth her weight in gold,” Nancy said. “She treats my dad like her own.”

For Nancy, the transition was emotionally complicated. “It took me longer to adjust than him,” she said. “I loved having him at home. But the nights were getting hard, and I wasn’t sleeping. My husband said, ‘You’re going to drive yourself into the ground.’”

She credits Park Place with giving her back rest, giving her father safety, and giving their whole family peace of mind. “There’s no drama in our family,” she said. “We all work together. That’s because of how we were raised, especially by our mom. She was a light in this world.”

Now 99, her father still doesn’t take a single prescription medication, just vitamins and minerals. “He’s healthy as a horse,” Nancy said. “And he’s determined. He told me, ‘I’m going to make it to 100.’ And I believe him.”

She visits twice a week. When she walks in, the staff doesn’t say it’s “Nancy the visitor”, it’s “Nancy from Jewel,” “Nancy from the neighborhood,” “Nancy, the daughter who brings pizzas for the nurses.” She’s not just his family. She’s part of the family here.

Nancy tells me it was the best decision for us, for him, and everyone involved. “There are places you can go,” she said. “But this one? This place fits like a glove.”